


The Even More Unlikely Friendship of rat!Dean and Benn-ese the Mountain Dog

by poD7et



Series: rat!Dean [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Condom, I'm Sorry, M/M, Right?, So so sorry, Unsafe Sex, ao3 tag of the day, benny is a mountain dog, but well, cat-stiel gets a token mention, dean and sam are rats, i know i mentioned condoms, improper use of both macaroni and cheese and condoms, macaroni and cheese, not bitter at all, purr-gatory, sorry - Freeform, that's basically like canon, this is awful, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:38:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7497999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poD7et/pseuds/poD7et
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Read the thing. But maybe read the tags first. Umm . . . actually, don't read the thing. Please. For your sanity and mine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Even More Unlikely Friendship of rat!Dean and Benn-ese the Mountain Dog

**Author's Note:**

> ao3 Tag of the Day
> 
> The Ao3 Tag of the Day is: Do not put a condom on your mac and cheese
> 
> #macaroni and cheese  
> #condom

It was his choice, but it still didn’t seem right.

Sure, they may have finally rid of the world of the biggest dick to ever dick, but well, at what cost. Now Cat-stiel was locked in a prison of his own making. He was the alley cat that fucked with the plans of every other alley cat. He worked for Purr-iel. There was no mercy.

Rat!dean followed him to the worst hell of all . . . the pound. He asked around to find his love, and braved every trap imaginable just to find him. Where was Cat-stiel?

On this journey he had to find a partner or else he’d never be able to survive.

One of those friends was a huge mangey dog. A Bernese Mountain Dog to be precise. And without his help, he would never have been able to narrow down his search to the pound that held Cat-stiel hostage. It was almost as if Cat-stiel didn’t want to be found. But find him, he did. And rat!Dean was elated.

Although, the same was not necessarily true for Benn-ese the Mountain Dog. Benn-ese did not exactly seem to be exploding with joy in the same way that rat!Dean was. In fact, Benn-ese didn’t seem very happy at all. But rat!Dean didn’t seem to take any notice. Everything was about Cat-stiel. He seemed so happy to finally be reunited with his love.

And it seemed that rat!Dean didn’t notice how downfallen Benn-ese was upon meeting Cat-stiel. This was especially disappointed to the pup since the relationship of these two brothers-at-arms seemed as if it may have been something more, but well, this was _Cat-stiel_. And he and rat!Dean did share a more profound bond.

And that’s when Benn-ese had to make the most important decision of his life. Would he tell this to Cat-stiel and fight to keep rat!Dean to himself, or would he bite his tongue to ensure that rat!Dean would be the happiest he’s ever been in his life.

It was a tough choice. On the one hand, Benn-ese and rat!Dean had grown close over these past days, weeks, months, years . . . he wasn’t sure, it all started to blend. But well . . . the thing that was most important to Benn-ese was rat!Dean’s happiness. And when it came down to it, that was all that Benn-ese really wanted. He wanted rat!Dean to be happy and healthy. He would have loved it if rat!Dean would be happy and healthy by his side, but he knew that was just a pipe-dream.

Now that they stood here, with rat!Dean able to gnaw a hole out of this purr-gatory, there was no reason for them to stay. And if rat!Dean was able to make an escape big enough for Benn-ese there was no reason for them to leave Cat-stiel behind either.

But during the escape, several humans that patrolled the purr-gatory took notice and tried to keep the animals from running away. And it seemed that Cat-stiel did not make it through with rat!Dean and Benn-ese.

rat!Dean despaired and took Benn-ese back to the home he shared with his brother, rat!Sam. rat!Sam was surprised to see rat!Dean alive. rat!Dean was off risking his life for the ‘greater good’ or something like that and told rat!Sam not to look for him if he didn’t come back. But rat!Dean seemed mighty pissed at rat!Sam for just sitting at home and enjoying life without his brother.

Benn-ese stayed out of it. A brother’s quarrel was not something he wanted to get in the middle of. Even if it was just a pair of rats. They were rats that had been through hell and could definitely give Benn-ese a run for his money. That and the fact that rat!Sam was quite intimidating and large for a rat. Not that rat!Dean was a small rat, just that rat!Sam was a particularly large rat.

Anyway, they spend some time together and rat!Sam is overly suspicious of Benn-ese, but eventually rat!Sam and rat!Dean fall back into the swing of things and start fighting the stray cats and dogs that make the city block dangerous for innocent mice and rats and squirrels and such.

But one day, they go to meet an old love of Benn-ese. She was a house-dog, but upon finding her, they learn she escaped with the help of Benn-ese’s old gang leader. But then some stupid shit happens and like, Benn-ese kills his old master and then rat!Dean kills the girl, and then Benn-ese tries to kill rat!Dean and then rat!Dean and rat!Sam have a sentimental moment and Benn-ese decides it’s best to not be around for the rest of the scene.

Then some even more crazy shit happens where Benn-ese and rat!Dean break up (not that they were ever together in the first place), but then rat!Dean needs Benn-ese for a huge favor that he’ll probably never repay because he’s a (b)rat like that. rat!Sam was captured by a taxidermist who also worked at the pound that Cat-stiel and rat!Dean and Benn-ese were in before. rat!Dean hoped rat!Sam was still alive and he knew his only chance of getting him back was with the help of Benn-ese. Benn-ese, in love with rat!Dean, and therefore couldn’t say no.

rat!Dean didn’t want to send Benn-ese back, but it was the only way. They met by a trash heap beore Benn-ese set off to be captured. While they were there, there was an intense amount of staring, touching, and sexual tension. Until finally, rat!Dean made his move. rat!Dean knew he would likely never see Benn-ese again, so if he was going to act, it had to be now. He let Benn-ese know what a great friend he had been and how he wished they had more time together. rat!Dean sucked at using his big-boy words, but fortunately Benn-ese was great at interpreting rat!Dean’s meaning. He licked a stripe down rat!Dean’s back.

This gesture got rat!Dean all horny and he needed to do the nasty with Benn-ese at once. But well, he was a big-ass dog (literally, his ass was huge) and rat!Dean was just a rat, even if he was big for a rat.

So instead, they decided to share a last meal together. rat!Dean rooted around in trash bag that was on the curb and found some delicious mac-n-cheese. Benn-ese and rat!Dean ate in silence until they found the used condom mixed in with the food.

rat!Dean and Benn-ese looked at each other and instantly knew they were thinking the same thing.

Benn-ese rubbed the condom through the remains of the mac-n-cheese. He got it properly mac-n-cheesed. Then rat!Dean shimmied inside. Benn-ese squatted over rat!Dean while he attempted to squirrel his way into Benn-ese’s puckered hole.

Nothing goes as planned and rat!Dean shreds the damn thing, but to hell, or purr-gatory with safe sex. rat!Dean forces his way into Benn-ese and they have the wildest and craziest and most mind-blowing rat/dog ass-sex to ever sex.

When Benn-ese is finally spent, rat!Dean crawls out and gets himself off using the dog-shit and mac-n-cheese to ease his trip to pleasure.

The unlikely couple embrace and then Benn-ese starts running off into the street barking, hoping to alert some concerned humans to his presence. He waited for the pound to come and claim him.

Ultimately, Benn-ese is captured and brought to the pound to fight the good fight. rat!Sam escapes, but Benn-ese is not as lucky. He stayed behind to ensure rat!Sam made it back to his brother.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for spn coldest hits. I'm sorry if you read this. Based on the ao3 tag of the day "improper use of macaroni and cheese and condoms."


End file.
